loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
