I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize