I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
