Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
