is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
