She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
