when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
