Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
