on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
