I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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