VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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