I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
