I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
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he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
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He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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