I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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