1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize