I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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