Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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