And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
