My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
