is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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