you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
