I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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