note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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