their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
