Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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