She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
