Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
