So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
