I just made out with a guy for $7.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
