I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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