Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
