She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
