Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
