Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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