She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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