i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize