i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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