Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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