ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
