How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
