She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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