This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have feelings that need drinking.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
