I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
