I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
