i wish my penis had a tongue
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize