Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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