I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
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It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
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He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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