i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize