You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
