I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
