Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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