i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
