U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
