I want to have your abortion
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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