so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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