I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
