YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
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Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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