I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
